I have made it a large focusing in my life to be mindful. Especially when it comes to parenting. My daughter is at the age that this comes in handy. She can cry for fifteen minutes just because I didn’t let her shut her own car door. I have mastered deep breathing and the art of soft but firm speaking.
There are moments though that I am the opposite of the calm and peaceful mother. They happen very rarely these days but they are intense. It’s like my mind is taken over by crazy aliens and I resort to acting like my tantruming toddler. My kids look at me and wonder where their mother has gone.
My son has been my biggest teacher in being a mindful parent. Before him, I had a lot of anger and frustration. It is because of him that I have made such peaceful changes. I saw the fear and hurt in his eyes from my behavior and knew that I needed to change my parenting style. It didn’t come easy and I had many mess ups but for the most part I have learned to stay calm.
The thing is, we are all human and slip up. How do you explain this to your innocent son. How can he understand that I learned this behavior from my father who most likely learned this from one of his parents. How does he know I’m breaking a cycle of negative parenting.
He doesn’t understand but I hope that he can learn from my example. We all make mistakes but the important thing is how we deal with them when we know better. I love that boy and am so glad that he was placed in my life to teach me such wonderful lessons. I am a better parent because of him.