I grew up as a Paster’s Kid. I write paster’s kid in caps because it feels like a proper noun sometimes. Being a PK, as we are sometimes referred to has its joys but also some hardships. It’s great to have everyone in your church know you and take you under their wing and you get to do fun jobs like filling the communion juice cups. Playing hide and seek after the church service and knowing all the cool hiding spots is another added bonus. The downside is you are always expected to act and behave in a certain “holy” way. I will never forget, not being invited to a birthday party in 6th grade because the birthday girl felt I wouldn’t approve of her party. What?

For many years, I avoided going to church. I never stopped believe in God but couldn’t wrap my head around Jesus as my Savior or why many Christians felt that their religion trumped all the other religions in the world. I found it painful to sit in church listening to preachers preach about the Bible but at the same time, felt extreme fear in this reaction. Growing up in the church as a PK there was never a chance to question anything.

My dad passed away when I was 13 and so I gave up my title of PK and was able to mold into life without a title. After high school I stopped attending church and have hid from my spirituality for many years.  Recently this has changed and I have  dived into learning about myself and my relationship to something greater. I am learning from different methods but still hold the Bible and Christ with honor and love for its wisdom. I also enjoy learning from other methods.

My mother is very fearful of my new quest for answers. She would rather have my spirituality passed down from church. I hope peace will come to her mind because for once in my life I feel like the true me is popping out and I love the discovery of who I am in this magnificent world.

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